From Trump in Helsinki to San Francisco’s stinky — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest® presents: The WIRE!
The week ended with a bang, as longtime Trump “fixer” Michael Cohen revealed the existence of a tape he made prior to the 2016 election in which he and Trump discussed payments to rumored Trump paramour Karen MacDougal. Sounds like someone’s angling for a plea deal.
Or auditioning for a new spot on MSNBC.
President Donald Trump went to Helsinki to meet Russian President Vladimir Putin and then held a press conference in which he did everything but give Putin a get-out-of-jail-free card leaving his supporters scratching their heads.
This is another one of your 4-D chess, long-game plans, right? RIGHT?!?
Trump didn’t do himself any favors by parsing words and claiming he meant to say “wouldn’t” instead of “wouldn” regarding whether Russia had interfered in U.S. elections. Yeah, that’s not exactly better, Mr. President.
“Luke! I mean to say I am NOT your father!”
Trump’s gonna Trump, though. The president took to social media to pour vodka on the fire by tweeting “Our relationship with Russia has NEVER been worse thanks to many years of U.S. foolishness and stupidity and now, the Rigged Witch Hunt!”
Stalin, Khrushchev, Brezhnev, Andropov and Chernenko called. They recommended not tweeting on two hours of sleep.
Of course, liberals turned up the volume meter to 11 and ripped the knob off.
Putin: “Owning the liberals is really that easy?”
Trump: “Dude, they go crazy over EVERYTHING. Give it a try.”
Putin: “George Soros.”
What a difference a few years makes, right?
Broke: “After my election, I’ll have more flexibility.”
Joke: “This is worse than 9/11!”
If you want crazy, the Democrats have got the crazy. Senator Richard Blumenthal (D-Not Khe Sanh) shrieked to CNN that Russian election meddling is as bad as the 9/11 terror attacks that killed nearly 3,000 people.
But not as horrific as *his* experiences in Vietnam.
Democrats even tried to demand both Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and Trump’s interpreter testify before Congress about the content of Trump’s private convo with Putin. What did Trump and Putin talk about?
What are the odds it was golf and grandchildren?
Ol’ Nana Hilldawg chipped in, fretting “To see the White House even hesitate to defend a diplomat is deeply troubling.”
“B*tch, please!” – Ambassador Chris Stevens.
Speaking of “b*tches,” former President Barack Obama wants more girl power in government. The former president whined this week “men have been getting on my nerves recently.”
Guess it’s true what they say: Michelle really does have the b*lls in that family.
Obama also told the audience at a lecture named for former South African President Nelson Mandela “The free press is under attack.” He failed to bring up his illegal surveillance of journalists and their families.
Fact check: True.
In what may have been the supreme-est irony of all time, Russian chess champion Gary Kasparov claimed “I’m ready to call this the darkest hour in the history of the American presidency. Let me know if you can think of any competition.” OK, chess-boy, start with these: 12-1p, November 22, 1963; 10-11p, April 14, 1865; 4-5p, September 6, 1901; 9-10a, July 2, 1881.
In Soviet Russia, history class comes to you!
Neera Tanden, president of the left wing hate group Center for American Progress wondered “Is there a way Trump could act more like Putin’s puppet? I can’t think of one.”
From our “dumb rumor that won’t go away” department: CNN reported this week that sources close to disgraced former Attorney General Eric Holder say he is still seriously considering throwing his hat into the ring for a 2020 presidential bid. Needless to say, the announcement met with mixed reactions.
“Ole’ to that!” – The Sinaloa Cartel
“Hard pass.” – Brian Terry’s family
Apparently dissatisfied with the reaction in London, self-proclaimed “resistance” Democrats are bringing their “Baby Trump” balloon on a tour of the U.S. East Coast, including New York and Philadelphia, in case anyone missed how creepy and weird they are earlier this month.
Biggest visit to New York since the Stay-Puft Marshmallow man.
House Democrats continued their fight for completely porous borders this week, actually fighting against a non-binding resolution stating Congressional support for the men and women of the U.S. Department of Customs and Immigration Enforcement.
I take it faith in federal law enforcement agencies is out of fashion again.
Miguel Caloxto works hard for minimum wage. According to the left wing hate group Moveon, a minimum wage under $15/hr is “violence.” Hey Miguel, how about you negotiate a raise or apply for a management job somewhere else?
And he’ll probably have time once his boss sees this.
Meet Ellie Schneider. The “miracle baby’ celebrated her first birthday this week despite being born at only 21 weeks. If American anti-life forces, who defeated a ban on abortions after 20 weeks had their way, Ellie wouldn’t have been born at all.
Planned Parenthood marked the solemn occasion by wearing black scrubs during this week’s abortions.
And overrun by homicidal illegal aliens and literally covered in human feces, the city of San Francisco has zeroed in on the solution: They’ve begun registering illegal aliens to vote. I’m old enough to remember when foreign interference in American elections was considered a bad thing.
So was getting so filthy that there’s a “poop map” of your city.
And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest®, I’m Ben Crystal saying “See you next week, on The WIRE!”