From contested memos to frosted HoHos — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest® presents: The WIRE!
Democrats continued their fight to keep the infamous “Nunes memo” secret. Depending on which one you ask, it’s either fake, meaningless or too important to release. Not like those possibilities cancel each other out, guys.
Nothing to see here, ya lookie-loos! Move along!
In an act of desperation, House Minority Leader Pelosi sent House Speaker Paul Ryan a letter demanding Nunes’s removal from his position as House Intelligence Chairman. Martyring the guy trying to shine light on your corruption has never gone badly before.
Ask the Sanhedrin how it worked out for them.
Some serious sourpusses at the State of the Union address Tuesday.
That moment when you both realize there are gonna be six more of these.
What kind of people don’t stand for lower unemployment, economic advancement for people of color, the national anthem, the national motto and a more prosperous America?
I mean, besides ISIS and the Kim Jong Un fan clubs.
Rep. Luis Gutierrez even stormed out of the House Chamber rather than listen to the president describe the Capitol as a “living monument to the American people.”
Not for nothing, Lou, but if this kind of talk upsets you, you might be in the wrong line of work.
The Democrats proved how “woke” they are by having their official response delivered by the whitest, straightest, most privileged guy they could find.
“Drooling in Spanish” = “Latino outreach!”
No, the scion of the Kennedy family’s address did not go well.
The last time a Kennedy got in a wreck like that, they closed the Edgartown Bridge.
Things the Democratic Party won’t celebrate: Record low unemployment for African-Americans and Latinos, victories against ISIS, celebrating the United States of America and its symbols.
Things the Democratic Party will celebrate: A train crash involving multiple injuries and fatalities
Dead people! Let the jocularity commence!
The ACLU issued a head-scratcher of a response to the State of the Union, criticizing the president’s frequent use of “America” as “exclusionary.”
The Exclusionary Civil Liberties Union just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
The Deep State lost another soldier this week with the abrupt resignation of Deputy Director Anderew McCabe. He resigned amid rumor he played a key role in possible Agency abuses involving probes into Hillary Clinton’s misdeeds and surveillance violations. These guys make Larry, Moe and Curly look like the Legion of Doom.
It’s kind of a miracle she didn’t lose by more.
Disgraced Fire and Fury author Michael Wolff went from being read aloud on the Grammys to being thrown off the set of Morning Joe in four days. Don’t worry, Mike. Using the Kathy Griffin scale, Jimmy Kimmel will be extolling your virtues by mid-summer.
“Hey Mikey, have you tried beheading someone in effigy?”
Speaking of disgraces, ex-CBS talking hairdo Dan Rather weighed in on the battles between the media and the White House, tweeting “I have found, generally, that those who lash out the most are usually those who are most afraid about having the truth revealed.”
Sure. Let’s take ethics advice from Dan Rather. Then we can go get some stock tips from Bernie Madoff.
Democrats cheered the announcement by Trey Gowdy (R-SC) that he would not seek re-election this fall. However, their excitement was muted when he indicated he would return to the justice system.
It’s all fun and games ‘til you face Judge Gowdy at sentencing.
Democrats: Conservatives are obsessed with Hillary! It’s sexist to focus so much on her!
Also Democrats: Here’s Hillary reading a trash book at a music awards show! SQUEE!
The Justice Department filed to dismiss its remaining charges against Sen. Bob Menendez, bringing the legal case that has hovered over the New Jersey Democrat for years to a close.
Parents of little girls in the Dominican Republic are advised to get their daughters to shelter immediately.
Now snack cake producer Hostess joins the roster of companies that will be offering tax reform-inspired bonuses to their employees — and a year of take-home products.
Nancy Pelosi was right, after all. These savings are “crumbs.” Delicious, delicious, crumbs.
And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest®, I’m Ben Crystal saying “See you next week, on The WIRE!”