From Harvey’s gut to ISIS’s nuts — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest® presents: The WIRE!
Serial predator Harvey Weinstein’s circle was wide enough to include quite a few people who’ve made their living swearing they’re “feminists.”
There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help each othe… uhhhh, screw it.
The disgraced movie exec and Democratic Party piggy bank announced his plan to jet off to Europe for “sex addiction rehab.”
Safe bet: Sex addiction rehab = Party at Polanski’s!
Weinstein’s defenders pointed out that he joined the Women’s March in Park City, Utah. Yeah right; more like he heard there was a big crowd of women in the 5-star resort town he was visiting for Sundance.
“Hey baby. How about you come back to my hotel room and bring down my patriarchy?”
The Democrats announced plans to wash the Weinstein stench off by giving his donations to charity. The “charities” selected are all left-wing groups like DNC candidate grooming service “Emerge America.”
They’re donating it to themselves? Such noble sacrifice! And not at all a convenient way to launder dirty cash.
It’s not like Harvey ever used his money to buy off politicians and cover up his assaults or anything.
However, coincidences do happen!
Some Democrats fretted that focus on Weinstein’s close ties to prominent party heavyweights might divert attention away from their efforts to save programs like Obamacare’s birth control mandate.
I sure hope the fact that our party is run by creeps and deviants doesn’t hurt our plan to force people to pay for other people’s birth control pills!
Obamacare apologists sounded the alarm over President Trump’s executive order expanding the insurance options for individuals and small businesses, shrieking Trump was “sabotaging” Obamacare.
You say that like it’s a bad thing.
Now’s as good a time as any to remind everyone that the GOP proposed making birth control pills available over-the-counter, which would improve cost and convenience. The Democrats — backed by the abortion lobby — said no because fewer pregnancies = fewer abortions = fewer dead baby parts = less cash for Democrats.
At this rate, I might have to fly commercial!
Retiring Senator Bob Corker (RINO-TN) isn’t content to leave in 2018. He’s gonna try and burn the joint down on his way out. Corker threw shade at the president, “It’s a shame the White House has become an adult day care center.” Don’t go away mad, Bob. Just go away.
Besides, do we really need two disloyal, ineffective camera hogs?
Check out Slim Shady, spittin’ mad bars freestyle at the president, yo! And we should totes take this seriously because he’s a rapper who minted his cash with violently misogynistic lyrics.
Eminem: Kill/ rape/ dismember/ c*nts/ whores/ bitches
Woke people: …
Eminem: F*ck Trump!
Woke people: OMG! Genius!
Liberal butts were hurtin’ over President Donald Trump’s threats to decertify the nuclear bargain his predecessor struck with Iran. The Obama minions expressed concern that the move might “isolate” the U.S.
We’d be isolated from Iran? Oh noes! Now we’ll miss out on all that cool Ramadan swag!
Apparently, the “International Day of the Girl” was this week. And Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-Amazing Cheekbones) got her girl power on. “To all the girls out there who face challenges and barriers and people telling you no: keep fighting like a girl.”
And if that doesn’t work, falsely appropriate a minority culture!
The Boy Scouts are opening their doors — to girls. I can’t help but notice that the same people who support this also think letting men in the girl’s room is a good idea.
Remember “Miss Weinstein” from the Target bathroom? “She’s” your new scoutmaster! Have fun camping!
Remember when Jimmy Kimmel became “America’s conscience” over Obamacare and gun control? Here he is trying to trick women into grabbing his crotch… even telling one “you should put your mouth on it.”
That’s America’s conscience? I thought it would be bigger.
Welcome to California, where you can be jailed for using the wrong gender pronouns, but not for deliberately exposing someone to AIDS without telling them.
“What did you do?”
“I infected someone with a terminal disease on purpose.”
“You’re the real victim here.”
“What did you do?”
“I called a woman ‘ma’am.’”
“You go to prison, you monster!”
There are safer places on the State Department’s travel advisory list.
Trump didn’t escape the week unscathed, however. The president raised eyebrows when he implied the way to combat fake news outlets like NBC would be to go after their “licenses.”
To quote you, Mr. President: “Wrong!”
And, a leaked ISIS training video shows prospective jihadis getting kicked in the groin. “You won’t need these where you’re going.” “But what about the 72 virgins?” “You actually bought that?”
His goat will be devastated.
And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest®, I’m Ben Crystal saying “See you next week, on The WIRE!”