From Mueller’s desk to Dunkirk — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest® presents: The WIRE!
Special Counsel Robert Mueller raised some eyebrows after announcing he wants his probe to look into President Donald Trump’s personal finances; although he’s supposed to be investigating the Democrats’ Russian conspiracy theories.
What “witch hunt?” I just like to read by torch light.
Say, the Democrats do realize what happens if they actual pester Trump into quitting, right?
Something tells me they haven’t thought this through.
Looks like the Obamacare repeal the Republicans promised us is deader than a baby in a Planned Parenthood clinic. Is it me, or is it starting to get hard to tell these clowns apart?
As if there was a real difference to begin with.
Even as the GOP Senators fell on their faces, the Democrats touted a new Congressional Budget Office study which they claim states a repeal of Obamacare would kick 32 million people off their insurance. Oh noes! 32 million people spending their own money as they see fit! How will the Republic endure?
Ain’t my problem. I’m rich as hell, y’all!
Trump didn’t make it through the week without a faceplant of his own; talking openly about his regret over hiring Attorney General Jeff Sessions.
There’s a bus leaving in a few, Jeff. Be under it.
President Trump washed his hands of the whole affair, eliciting howls from Democrats who whined that inaction will kill people; putting them at odds with their statements that moving on Obamacare would also kill people.
If we’re all gonna die either way, I choose the option where I’m not defrauded by the government.
Donald Trump, Jr. and former Trump point man Paul Manafort are set to testify in front of the Senate Judiciary Committee next week, news which has the Democrats practically peeing in their onesies.
I’d pay real money to hear them blame the whole thing on a phantom YouTube video.
“OMG! President Trump totally had a second secret meeting with Russian honcho Vladimir Putin. Check it out! 75 people at a long table. That’s super-duper-secret!
Can you 75 or so people pipe down? Vlad and I are trying to have a “secret” meeting!
The Democrat Party has responded to their string of electoral humiliations by launching a rebranding campaign. The winning slogan: “Better Skills, Better Jobs, Better Wages.” All those consultants, all that money, and they went with ripping off a pizza chain’s 20 year-old tagline?
Their second choice: “30 minutes or less, or your next abortion is free!”
The city of Baltimore is trying a new approach to curbing their third-world level crime rate with a “Nobody kill anybody” weekend. The holiday from homicide is set for the first weekend in August, if anyone survives that long.
There’s a party slogan! “The Democrats: bringing the magic of Baltimore to your town!”
Meanwhile, check out the huge crowds of white people who rioted following the shooting death of unarmed white immigrant Justine Damond by Minneapolis police officer Mohamed Noor.
“Hey hey! Ho ho! We’ve got jobs, so we gotta go!”
A teenaged girl in Saudi Arabia was arrested this week for posting a video of her wearing clothing that didn’t make her look like a beekeeper. Oddly, groups like the “Women’s March” were silent on the Muslim dictatorship’s draconian misogyny.
How come all the “feminists” misplace their “pussy hats” when Islam is involved?
Rumor has it “Caitlyn” Jenner is eyeing a run for the U.S. Senate.
Media breathlessly wonders: Which bathroom would “Senator Jenner” use?
Bill Nye — who plays a scientist on TV — said this week that old people need to die for the good of the country and planet. Uh, not for nuthin’ “Science Guy,” but you ain’t exactly a spring chicken. How’s about you lead the way?
Think of all the fake science we’d miss out on.
O.J. Simpson was granted parole this week after a hearing in which he claimed “I’m a pretty straight shooter.”
I think you meant “stabber,” Juice.
A professor at the University of Chicago has released a paper in which he argues for infanticide. Jerry Coyne argues, if the parents are dissatisfied with their child, “why aren’t you able to euthanize that same fetus just after it’s born?
“Hello, returns department? We ordered a blonde.”
The new film “Dunkirk,” a depiction of the remarkable rescue of 400,000 British soldiers trapped between the Nazis and the English Channel has managed to offend liberals. Apparently, the little snowflakes are butt hurt because the film doesn’t include enough minority or female characters.
“Sorry chaps, but since you’re not diverse enough, we’re letting the Jerrys win.”
And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest®, I’m Ben Crystal saying “See you next week, on The WIRE!”