From Trump the superhero to the robot revolution’s ground zero — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest® presents: The WIRE!
President Trump’s Twitter habit got weird this week when he used the social media platform to give himself a new nickname, tweeting “I am Tariff Man.”
sung to the tune of the old Spiderman cartoon theme:
♫ Tariff man, tariff man.
Taxing stuff that comes to our land.♩
Can he fix trade deficits? ♬
♬ Does he understand a whit?
Hey there, President Tariff Man ♪
Trump’s “Tariff Man” tweet, along with hijinks like the arrest of Chinese businesswoman Wanzhou Meng, sent markets downstairs in record fashion this week.
I haven’t seen a tumble like that since the last time Hillary Clinton tried to climb stairs.
Check out the presidential pew at the funeral of President George H.W. Bush:
From left to right: the 45th president of the United States, the 44th, the 42nd, LOL and the 39th.
The media couldn’t pass up the chance to ooh and aah over the attendees, micro-analyzing everything from facial expressions to body language, as if the president and his predecessors should have busted out their best dance moves at a funeral.
Also, some guy died.
Another awkward moment for the Democrats this week, when former Vice President Joe Biden declared “I think I am the most qualified person in the country to be president.” He didn’t specify president of what.
“How about president of me, cutie?”
Democratic National Committee Chairman Tom Perez is closing in on choosing the lucky town that gets to host his party’s 2020 convention. One of the three cities on the short list? Milwaukee, Wisconsin.
That’s one way to ensure Hillary can’t win the 2020 nomination — hold it in a city she can’t find.
The DNC is trying to figure out how to run the 2020 primary debates so that multiple candidates can participate without creating the spectacle of a “kiddie table debate,” akin to the GOP’s 2016 experience. They’re gonna put all the freaks onstage at the same time? I’m gonna need all the popcorn.
Looking forward to the moment when Biden references something that existed before “Beto” O’Rourke was born.
General Michael Flynn may not be facing prison, thanks to a sentencing recommendation by Special Counsel Robert Mueller. If Flynn’s unsanctioned contact with Russians isn’t jail-worthy, former Secretary of State John Kerry ought to be breathing easy over his visit to Iran.
Instead of prison time, Kerry should have to go live there.
The once and future Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi blasted Trump’s proposed border wall as “immoral,” but promised the incoming Democrat majority would honor “a responsibility, all of us, to secure our borders… three coasts — North, South and West.”
She must be using the same atlas that taught Obama about the 57 states.
The Senator Bernie Sanders-led nationwide presidential anti-global warming campaign has been making the rounds — and a ton of exhaust. This week, we learned his handlers have spent over $300,000 on private jets to speed Bernie and his fellow global warmists around the country to complain about wasteful emissions from things like private jets.
As opposed to wasteful emissions from things like global warmists.
Across the pond, the noble European push for “green” taxes is working out just dandy.
France will be carbon emissions-free… once they run out of stuff to burn.
Liberals were incensed this week by reports that some prominent Democrats think Senator Elizabeth Warren may have tomahawked her presidential aspirations with her DNA test debacle a couple of months ago. The same liberals deplore cultural appropriation as “white privilege.”
White girl dresses as Pocahontas = problematic.
White girl says she’s Pocahontas = presidential.
Mexico is beginning to deport members of the “migrant caravan” trying to break into the U.S. That feeling when the Mexicans are doing more to secure the U.S. border than the Democrats. And let’s all ponder what kind of migrant gives Mexican authorities the heebie jeebies.
You gotta go. You’re freaking out El Chapo.
According to Senator Mazie Hirono (D- HI), Democrats have a hard time “connecting” with voters because of how “smart” they are and because they “know so much.” Hirono also believes men are not entitled to a presumption of innocence and should “shut up” about it.
Sure, Mazie. You’re the “smart” one.
New York City is considering a law which would make it illegal to send sexy selfies without consent from the lucky recipient, unless they grant affirmative consent.
Gonna seriously hamper some guys’ dating prospects.
While liberals worked to get Christmas anthems like “Baby, It’s Cold Outside” barred from public play, former gangsta rapper Ice Cube tore into Trump this week. “They Said Lock Her Up, They Need to Lock Him Up.” That’s great, Cube. Go make another Disney movie, MC Sellout.
“Saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp. And it read Donald Trump is a pimp.”
The fur flew on The View this week. Left-wing blowhole Joy Behar reportedly threw an epic tantrum in which she called co-host Meghan McCain an “entitled bitch” and threatened to walk off the show.
No explanation for why they stopped her.
And I don’t want to say it’s Terminator time, but 24 Amazon workers were hospitalized this week after a robot accidentally tore a can of bear repellent spray in a warehouse in Robbinsville, New Jersey. Sure… accidentally.
“Man, this ‘Cyberdyne’ outfit sure orders a lot of bear mace.”
And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest®, I’m Ben Crystal saying, “See you next week, on The WIRE!”