From racist arithmetic to Thanksgiving dinner tricks — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest® presents: The WIRE!
The Georgia gubernatorial race is over, but nobody tell Democrat Stacey Abrams. According to the second-place finisher, she lost because of racism and “voter suppression.” And of course, it can’t be because she got fewer votes than Governor-elect Brian Kemp… unless math is racist.
2+2 = White supremacy!
Just south of Abrams’ faceplant, Broward County, Florida, election supervisor Brenda Snipes announced a plan to resign. Following her failed effort to steal elections for Florida Democrats Andrew Gillum and Bill Nelson, the disgraced vote-rigger claimed all the process needs is for a few things to be “tweaked.”
She resigned. That’s all the “tweak” they needed.
As the “caravan” of immigrants threatening to illegally enter the United States draws closer to the U.S.-Mexico border, they are being met by Mexican protesters demanding they do an about face and get out of their country, too. I, for one, can’t wait for the liberal think pieces declaring Mexicans to be insufficiently “woke.”
That moment when white American liberals start calling Mexicans racist.
In an effort to excuse ex-presidential also-ran Hillary Clinton’s travails, liberals resurrected an old item about Ivanka Trump using a private email account to discuss government-related business, claiming the latter exonerates the former. Right, like how Ivanka routed them through an illegal server, discussed classified intel and even allowed them to go through a pedophile’s laptop?
Oh wait, that wasn’t Ivanka.
CNN accused the White House of “continuing to violate the First and Fifth Amendments of the Constitution” by trying to bar liberal pundit Jim Acosta from press briefings, claiming the actions “threaten all journalists.” The leftist netlet failed to acknowledge how actual journalists could be threatened by anything involving Acosta.
If Acosta wants to beclown himself that badly, he can take the tour like the rest of us.
Rep-elect Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez continued her effort to be known as the dumbest member of Congress, calling for socialists to “take back all three chambers of government: the presidency, the Senate and the House.”
She must’ve forgotten the most important one: “the politburo.”
The New York Times raised some eyebrows this week, claiming “your chances of improving your station in life” in communist China “vastly exceed those in the United States.” Sure, just as long as you don’t worship the Savior, express an unapproved opinion or think you have rights other than those acknowledged by the government, the sky’s the limit!
The Chinese version of the American dream: Be the richest guy in the gulag!
Stormy Daniels is hanging on to notoriety with both paws. The porn star whined this week that her attempt to cash in on a purported relationship with President Donald Trump has “completely destroyed” her career. Sorry kitten, but I kind of doubt shaking down the president makes it harder to do porn.
“No notoriety allowed.” Said by no porn studio… ever.
Besides, it’s not as if creepy porn lawyer, rising Democratic star and alleged woman-beater Michael Avenatti dragged her kicking and screaming into the scam.
Although the dragging, kicking and screaming sounds like something Avenatti might enjoy.
Anti-life hate groups like NARAL are none too pleased that Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos is reacting to the rash of false sexual assault allegations by moving to protect due process, shrieking that she’s “hellbent on further traumatizing survivors.” If the anti-lifers had their way, there wouldn’t be any sexual assault survivors to traumatize. Of course, there also wouldn’t be any people.
No babies = no survivors = no problem!
Rep. Eric Swalwell (D-Californistan) doesn’t just want to confiscate Americans’ firearms, he wants to exterminate Americans who own them by dropping nuclear weapons on them. Oh wait, he was only kidding about the nukes part.
So, he wants to kill us individually? Oh sure, that’s much better.
Democrats howled when Trump referred to Rep. Adam Schiff as “Little Adam Schitt.” Apparently, they’re convinced the epithet reflects a lack of “decorum.”
God forbid they lack decorum in the White House.
NFL news: Following the loss of quarterback Alex Smith to injury, the Washington Redskins signed Mark Sanchez to back up new starter Colt McCoy. That’s right, the Skins are the latest team to go with a random scrub instead of Colin Kaepernick. Sorry, Mr. Nike. They’re going with “Mr. Butt Fumble.”
Sanchez isn’t better, he’s just quieter.
Environmentalists blasted Trump this week for noting that the lack of clearing of combustible undergrowth in forests as a contributing factor in the wildfires devastating California, calling him heartless and cruel. Couldn’t help but notice they didn’t blast him for being wrong… because he isn’t.
Trump understands how fire works? That bastard!
And, Thanksgiving brought with it the usual flood of liberal whining about how to deal with conservative relatives at the dinner table. I don’t know how this is complicated. Just have separate dining areas for conservatives and liberals.
We put the Democrats here, so they’d be in familiar surroundings.
And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest®, I’m Ben Crystal saying, “See you next week, on The WIRE!”