From the Broward County polls to attack shark control — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest® presents: The WIRE!
Missed deadlines. Missing ballots. Messing with democracy. Between Elections Supervisor Brenda Snipes and sniveling coward Sheriff Scott Israel, it’s a wonder Broward County, Florida, even exists.
“You got room behind those bushes for one more, Scotty?”
News also broke this week that Broward County authorities did manage to get Parkland attacker Nikolas Cruz registered to vote in the 2018 election.
They can’t figure out how to count their ballots, but they had no trouble getting one to the guy who killed their kids.
The ballot-counters in Broward and Palm Beach counties in Florida continued embarrassing themselves this week, as myriad ballots conveniently appeared and myriad voting machine issues kept cropping up to keep Democrats alive in the Sunshine State. Here’s a peek at one the miraculous ballot discoveries:
Back to you, Brenda!
Florida’s gubernatorial race is in the books, with a recount proving Ron DeSantis defeated Democrat challenger Andrew Gillum. However, although the recount gave Gillum exactly one new vote, he still refused to concede. At this rate, the sore loser will still be running when DeSantis is up for re-election.
Upside on the Democrats’ new refusal to accept election results: They save a bundle on t-shirts and bumper stickers.
New Congressgirl-elect and rising liberal superstar Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez complained this week that she can’t afford an apartment in Washington, D.C. Sleep on the couch in your office… or is that beneath a woman of the people like you?
Just accuse a guy of sexually assaulting you. They’ll start a GoFundMe for ya.
For those of you scoring at home, the “blue wave” includes:
– An anti-Semite who married her own brother.
– Another anti-Semite who beat his girlfriend.
– ANOTHER anti-Semite who’s also a communist.
– Another communist who’s also an idiot.
– And, for diversity’s sake, a crook who vacays in the DR for the underage hookers.
If that’s “woke,” I’m going to take a nap.
Stung by the president’s rebuke of the network’s liberal activist, Jim Acosta, CNN filed suit against the president and multiple members of his administration over what they claim is a violation of Acosta’s First Amendment rights. Meanwhile, Acosta was snapping selfies in Paris; which is what all political prisoners do.
Just another day in the gulag.
While CNN pushed their ridiculous lawsuit as if Acosta’s right to speak his mind has been abrogated, it didn’t occur to them they could have avoided this whole mess by assigning an actual journalist to the White House beat.
“’Journalist?’ Is anyone here a ‘journalist?’”
Amazon wrapped up its municipal beauty pageant this week, announcing New York City and Arlington, Virginia, as the locales for two new major corporate facilities. New York Governor Andrew Cuomo justified offering huge tax breaks to Amazon by pointing out the Empire State’s exorbitantly high tax rates required the incentives. “It’s not a level playing field to begin with. All things being equal, if we do nothing, they’re going to Texas.” Hasn’t even occurred to him to lower taxes in New York to better compete with Texas.
“If only we weren’t taking so much of your money, we could have given less of it to Amazon.”
Ocasio-Cortez chimed in — of course — to demand tax subsidies should only be given to so-called “green” companies. Right, because that has worked out so well in the past.
And Chiquita Khrushchev would know, what with her extensive experience as both a communist and a bartender.
In other business news, Senator Bernie Sanders (I – Das Kapital) introduced the “Stop Walmart Act,” which he claims is aimed at forcing them to let him determine their wage scales. The guy targeting America’s largest private sector employer somehow got rich without making a single buck while employed in the private sector.
If you count “fraud” as “making a buck,” technically, his wife has.
Looks like Hillary Clinton’s dance card may be filling up, possibly for three to five years. U.S. District Judge Emmett Sullivan has given the old girl 30 days to answer more questions about her infamous “bathroom server.”
“So, Vlad, what’s extradition like with your country? Asking for a friend.”
Self-proclaimed champion of women, and creepy porn lawyer, Michael Avenatti was arrested for assaulting a woman in Los Angeles this week. And so soon after he accused Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh of being some kind of rape monster. Welcome to the hoist, Mr. Avenatti. Your petard is right over here. Hey, I wonder if this will hurt his 2020 presidential bid?
He can still be DNC co-chair though.
Even as the first waves of the “immigrant caravan” slam against our borders, Senator Kamala Harris (D-Californistan) compared Immigration Customs Enforcement agents to the KKK in a rant this week; evidently unaware that over 50 percent of ICE agents are Latino.
Time to eat a nice crow taco, Kams.
Former first lady Michelle Obama whined this week that first lady Melania Trump never consulted her on how to be first lady. What help could Mrs. Trump possibly need to learn from Mrs. Obama?
“Melania, can I call you Melania?”
Anti-liberty activist David Hogg doesn’t like the idea an armed populace defending itself against criminals, tweeting “Imagine saying the only way to stop shark attacks is with more sharks.” Sharks don’t kill people; people kill — wait, what?
Everybody who supports common sense shark control knows: the only way to stop shark attacks is to pass laws against attack sharks.
And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest®, I’m Ben Crystal saying, “See you next week, on The WIRE!”