From Lieawatha’s lie to letting Snow White die — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest® presents: The WIRE!
Meanwhile, at Democrat Party headquarters: “The last few weeks have not gone well. But if we can keep the crazy to a minimum for a few more weeks we can still — why is Elizabeth putting on war paint?”
Just when they thought it couldn’t get worse, Liewatha goes back on the warpath.
If 1/1024 makes Elizabeth Warren a Native American, Gam-Gam’s new hip makes her a Terminator.
Come with me if you want to eat dinner at 4:30.
Elizabeth Warren is 99.9023438 percent white. Ivory Snow is 99.44 percent white. Elizabeth Warren, by her own math, is literally whiter than Ivory Snow.
When it comes to fighting stains, it has no reservations!
In keeping with their standard strategy of only giving minorities respect if they stay on the political reservation, the Democrat/media complex blasted the Cherokee Nation after they released a statement denouncing Warren’s attempts to steal their heritage. Whitesplaining being Cherokee to the Cherokee. That’s not racist at all.
I doubt you wanna go down that trail of tears.
Warren eventually relented and announced the formation of a new civil rights group with Julia Salazar, Rachel Dolezal and Robert Francis “Beto” O’Rourke: the NAACP
The National Association of Almost Colored People
Warren wasn’t the only Democrat scoring own goals this week. Videos surfaced of Arizona Senate candidate Kyrsten Sinema, who has already been exposed for protesting against US service personnel, calling her fellow Grand Canyon Staters “crazy,” and “the meth lab of Democracy.” It’s certainly an unusual campaign slogan:
“Send me to D.C. so I can get the hell out of this dump!”
And Senator Heidi Heitkamp (D-Not For Long) poured gasoline on her own fire by running an ad which identified — without their permission — multiple victims of sexual assault, infuriating them and even possibly endangering their lives. The women are planning legal action against the Senator.
Heitkamp’s career ended when she had to write a check with more zeroes than an Antifa riot.
Polling indicates Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) is pulling away from Rep. “Beto” O’Rourke in Texas. All that money, all those fawning media profiles and all those celebrity visits. Too bad Robert Francis isn’t running in California or New York.
Butbutbut, there are “Beto” campaign signs up in Brooklyn and San Francisco! Why isn’t that working?!?
A judge threw out Stormy Daniels’ defamation lawsuit against President Donald Trump and further ruled that she has to cover the president’s legal costs. If she’s not lying about the whole thing — and that’s a big if — then Trump is the first guy in history to get a refund from a “pro.”
I’m not sure who wins, in that case.
Democrat/media complex: “How dare the President of the United States call someone ‘horseface’ on Twitter! It’s a disgrace to the Oval Office!”
Americans: “God forbid someone disgrace the Oval Office.”
Among those who are pretty much over Don Lemon’s shameless race-baiting on CNN is gridiron legend Herschel Walker, who joined calls for the liberal net to can Lemon for his attacks on non-liberal black people like Kanye West. I wanna be there when this pencil-necked “resistance” pundit calls Herschel Walker an “Uncle Tom.”
Lil’ fella might wanna get his affairs in order first.
The latest polling shows former Vice President Joe Biden holds a double-digit lead on the field of Democrat aspirants to the 2020 presidential nomination.
Broke: Old white men are the devil!
Woke: Old white men are the future!
Bespoke: Hey baby. How you doin?
The Wall Street Journal reported this week that the “U.S. Is World’s Most Competitive Economy for First Time in a Decade.”
Sorry, couldn’t hear you over the sound of ALL. THAT. WINNING.
The Trump administration canceled Treasury Secretary Paul Mnuchin’s visit to a major economic summit in Saudi Arabia after the Saudis’ brutally interrogated and murdered journalist KASHOGGI. The twisted murder was brought to light by Turkish intelligence and shined a harsh light on American dithering on foreign policy. Which authoritarian Muslim regime is telling the truth? The Turks or the Saudis?
When are the feds gonna figure out that the answer is “neither. They’re all garbage.”
A threatening letter sent to the home of Senator Susan Collins (More R than Ever – ME) that claimed to contain the deadly toxin ricin specifically mentioned her vote to confirm Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh, according to Collins’ husband Thomas Daffron.
Or, as Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D – San Francisco) refers to him, “collateral damage.”
D.C.’s Metro system is struggling to get the kids to ride the electric sewer; but they have a plan! They’re gonna win back younger riders by putting cool stuff like DVD rental kiosks and photo booths. SO KEWL!
And if that doesn’t work, they’ll offer every rider born in this millennium a free “Zune.”
Congrats to Rachel McKinnon, the first “biological man who identifies as a female” to win a cycling world title, after winning the 35-39-year-old age bracket of the 2018 UCI Masters Track Cycling World Championships in Los Angeles.” Dudes winning at girls’ sports. I’m sure this won’t get out of control.
It’s all fun and games until “Lana” Armstrong wins the Tour de France.
Hollywood has found a new haven for the patriarchy: Old cartoons. Led by actress Kristen Bell, silver screen sirens say the unsolicited kiss that saves Snow White sends the wrong message. Got that, girls? No matter how bad the poison is, better than being groped by walking toxic masculinity like that “Prince Charming” perv!
You also might want to avoid eating fruit from creepy old ladies who get their advice from talking mirrors.
And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest®, I’m Ben Crystal saying, “See you next week, on The WIRE!”