From Ford’s farce to Moore’s move — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest® presents: The WIRE!
I hope Christine Ford is enjoying her 15 minutes as the Democratic Party’s poster girl of the moment. Because when her role in this appalling farce is over and she’s sitting in the used-up, liberal, sock puppets pile, remember: She should have seen it coming.
Not like she’s the first one.
Months after beginning her collusion with Feinstein, Ford’s lawyers announced Thursday that she would be willing to testify, as long as the circumstances were to her liking.
Broke: She’s ready to tell her story.
Woke: She’s prepared to tell her story, but not until after it further delays the vote.
Joke: Her story.
She’s had all summer to get it straight. If she hasn’t learned her lines by now, I doubt another delay will make a difference.
Multiple Democrats, including Rep. Elijah Cummings (D-Short Memory), joined in the chorus of Democrats demanding Kavanaugh take a “lie detector test” to prove he “has nothing to hide.” Always nice when a hero of the civil rights era calls for a Supreme Court nominee to give up their civil rights. Dr. King would be so proud.
“I did not get beaten, thrown in jail and murdered for this!”
Of course, the Hollywood bubblehead brigade came out in force for Dr. Ford, even coming up with a nifty little hashtag, “#DearDrFord.” Oh, that’ll help. It worked out super well for Hillary.
As Ford and her supporters’ stories unraveled, Senator Dianne Feinstein, the main puppeteer behind this farce, hedged her bets: “I can’t say everything is truthful.” Meanwhile, key Ford supporter Cristina Miranda was forced to admit she lied in social media posts about her knowledge of the alleged incident. We obtained this image of Ford’s supporters, moving to the next phase of their plan.
Ford tipped her hand late in the week, claiming she would be willing to recount some version of her story, provided a few demands were met, including:
– The hearing being scheduled for Thursday at the earliest
– Kavanaugh must testify first, despite being the accused
– Kavanaugh is not allowed to be in the room when she is
– No outside counsel may question her
– The Senate Judiciary must subpoena Mark Judge
– No time limit can be imposed on her opening statement
– Pool cameras only
– A comprehensive movement plan for security, which she must be provided
That’s all? Why not go for a two-hour lunch and a mani-pedi? Almost like she’s just trying to extend this sideshow as long as possible.
Ride ‘er until the wheels fall off, huh?
Senator Sheldon Whitehouse (Is a real person – RI) says the Dems aren’t done. According to Whitehouse, the Dems will re-vet Kavanaugh should they gain the majority this fall — “as soon as the Democrats get gavels.” Retroactive vetting? I’m sure that won’t blow up in their faces.
“Bad news, Bubba. You have to close your library.”
The whole Ford fiasco jumped the proverbial shark right about the time Hillary Clinton showed up on liberal blowhole Rachel Maddow’s MSNBC comedy hour to discuss the horrors of sexual assault. The same Hillary Clinton who’s married to Bill Clinton.
Yes, that Bill Clinton.
Ol’ Nana Hilldawg wasn’t the only Clinton gal getting her girl power on. Daughter Chelsea beat the bushes for the baby killers, proclaiming harm to abortion rights would be “un-Christian.” Not for nuthin’, Chels, but what Bible have you been reading?
“Thou shalt dilate and extract.” — the Book of Sanger
The New York Times debunked story about Ambassador Nikki Haley and The Case of the Crazy Curtains got even worse this week, when Haley revealed her staff had explained the curtains were ordered by the Obama administration, but the Times went with their incorrect version, anyway. “We told the reporters that these were the facts — they knew the facts and released the story anyway.”
All the news that’s fit to correct.
The race to replace retiring Speaker of the House Paul Ryan in Wisconsin’s 1st Congressional district got weird this week when Democrat nominee Randy Bryce’s own brother cut an ad endorsing GOP candidate Bryan Steil. Bet Thanksgiving dinner in that house is gonna be lit.
I guess it beats watching the Lions lose.
From our “liberals ruin everything” file, the producers of beloved children’s TV program Sesame Street were forced this week to issue a denial of a former writer’s claim that Bert and Ernie are gay.
Kermit and Miss Piggy will be devastated. Their whole lives have been lies. And don’t get me started on Gonzo.
Hey feminists! Got a rally for the “Me Too Man Haterz Club” at 6:00, and hot date at 7:00? No more having to change clothes in the back of the Uber! With your new slutty Handmaid’s Tale costume, you can make fighting the patriarchy sexy!
Blessed be the fruit, indeed!
Former Vice President — and rumored 2020 candidate — Joe Biden gave us a preview of his potential campaign theme when he referred to Trump supporters as the “dregs of society.” I know Joe’s getting on in years, but has he already forgotten 2016?
Evergreen: Joe losing
According to comedienne and self-described “journalist” Francesca Fiorentini, the problem with socialism is that it just hasn’t been cooked right. “Think of socialism like a fancy baked good. Just because many have made a mess of their kitchen attempting it, doesn’t mean you go around declaring you’ll never eat soufflé again! It just means you try harder.”
If your attempts at baking kill more people than AIDS, it means you should get the hell out of the kitchen.
Corpulent multi-millionaire Michael Moore has a new movie coming out, and he says if it leads to any trouble, he’s moving to Canada. Why wait? No chains holding ya, fatboy.
But running to Canada won’t get you out of paying your ex-wife what you owe her, big’un.
And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest®, I’m Ben Crystal saying, “See you next week, on The WIRE!”