From hurricane season to Hollywood reasons — and most points in between — it’s time for a look back at the week that was. Personal Liberty Digest® presents: The WIRE!
The global warmists dusted off all their best “climate change” tropes for the approach of Hurricane Florence because we all know there weren’t hurricanes before Al Gore invented global warming. They even have a new one: Global warming didn’t cause Hurricane Florence, but it did make it stronger.
Broke: Global warming will cause dozens of major hurricanes per year.
Woke: Global warming will cause a couple of intense hurricanes per year.
Joke: Global warming doesn’t cause anything but more Al Gore speeches.
With Florence approaching the East Coast, The Washington Post elbowed to the front of the hot take line with “Another hurricane is about to batter our coast. Trump is complicit.”
If Trump is actually powerful enough to make hurricanes, accusing him of it seems like kind of a bad idea.
As if the tragedy visited upon Puerto Rico last year by Hurricane Maria wasn’t enough, reports broke this week of this massive cache of bottled water delivered by the federal government for the PR authorities to distribute to desperate victims, which was left to rot by those same PR authorities who blamed Trump for the devastation.
“We were gonna get on it, but we had to print more angry feminist t-shirts.”
Trump didn’t do himself any favors on the topic of Maria by disputing the death toll that storm caused by claiming most only occurred in the “aftermath” of the storm. Dude, if you don’t die in the car, but you die in the ER after, you were still killed by a car wreck.
Stop helping, Mr. President.
I didn’t think anyone could beclown themselves over the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court more thoroughly than Senator Cory “T-Bone” Booker. Then, Senator Dianne Feinstein (D – California, STILL) announced she had a secret document proving that Kavanaugh — brace yourselves — may have hurt a girl’s feelings back in high school.
Shorter DiFi: Hold my beer and I am Spartacus!
I don’t wanna say the Democrats are getting desperate over Kavanaugh, but having failed to sway Senator Susan Collins (R-ME) with bribes, they moved on to the logical next option: Threatening to murder her and/or rape her staffers. If you can’t buy them, rape and kill them? Interesting strategy.
If this doesn’t work, next up is blaring Hillary Clinton explaining “abortion-inducing” drugs through loudspeakers outside Collins’ office.
A new CNN poll claims 38 percent of Americans say the Senate should confirm Kavanaugh, while 39 percent say they shouldn’t. The other 23 percent were pissed off that the Fake News Channel called during dinner. I wanna see a poll of “resistance” pinheads who can actually name who’s on the Supreme Court.
Betcha it’s a lot lower than 38 percent.
Hillary Clinton threw a girl power salute to Senator Kamala Harris (LOL-Californistan) for “getting” Kavanaugh with this zinger last week: “Can you think of any laws that give the government the power to make decisions about the male body?” He said he was not. Because there are none.”
“None?” Only if you round down, Nana.
Former President Barack Obama has hit the campaign trail for the Democrats, an interesting choice considering he drove them off an electoral cliff. His standard material includes shots at Trump over his contentious relationship with the media. Huffed Obama: “You never heard me threaten to shut them down or call them ‘enemies of the people.’”
Right. Mr. Transparency just tapped their phones.
President Donald Trump may have killed the Iran deal, but former Secretary of State John Kerry is trying to bring it back from the dead. Kerry admitted this week that he has conducted multiple behind-the-scenes meetings with representatives of the Islamofascist dictatorship in an effort to keep money flowing to the world’s top terrorist bagman.
I feel like there’s a word for that…
Kerry wasn’t done. Hillary Clinton’s understudy also admitted that the Obama administration claim that Syrian strongman Bassar Assad had given up “100 percent” of his chemical weapons was a lie.
If you like your chemical weapons, you can keep your chemical weapons.
Communist “Democratic socialist” Julia Salazar won the Democrats’ primary for New York’s 18th Senate seat Thursday, defeating the incumbent despite revelations that her resume is about as honest as a Jane Sanders loan application. Liberals were quick to hail her win as “groundbreaking,” like nothing like that has ever happened before.
“Amateur.” – Senator Elizabeth “Lieawatha” Warren.
According to a new report from the U.S. Census Bureau, not only did median household incomes in the U.S. increase in 2017 for the third straight year, the share of Americans living in poverty declined. Chiquita Khrushchev and Grampa Bernie were hardest hit.
“Give us a chance, and we’ll put a stop to it.”
With his bid to unseat Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) starting to sputter, Democrat Robert “Beto” O’Rourke turned tail and ran to New York City for a star-studded, $1,000/plate fundraiser. Can’t blame the guy for wanting to be around his people.
His people. You know, like the Real Housewives of New York City.
No more calls, please. We have a winner in the Trump Derangement Syndrome-alympics! A Nevada sociology professor registered his hatred of his President by shooting himself in a school bathroom.
When college is “free,” it will be worth every penny.
Coming September 21st, the all new Apple Watch Series 4. It now features fall detection which will alert first responders if you’ve fallen and can’t get up.
Because not everyone has a security detail to catch them.
When Breitbart got their hands on a video taken at a meeting of Google executives which shows them demonstrating overt liberal bias, including lamenting Hillary Clinton’s electoral defeat, the tech megacorporation responded by claiming “everyone at Google has been able to freely express their opinions.” Ummm, everyone?
Good thing Google has more money than God. They’re gonna have to write James Damore a check with more zeroes than a “resistance” meeting.
And on a recent edition of comedian Bill Maher’s HBO show, actor Jim Carrey declared America “should embrace socialism.” A Canadian actor thinks Americans have it too good. He thinks this now, after Americans made him a millionaire by paying 12 bucks a pop to go see his movies.
Judging by his more recent efforts, he might as well make ‘em free.
And that’s your week in review! For the Personal Liberty Digest®, I’m Ben Crystal saying, “See you next week, on The WIRE!”