I assumed the Democrats would flounder a little bit after November. After all, a complete electoral repudiation of not only your aspirations but your very reason for existence can dent even the most stable of souls. November’s faceplant sent Hillary Clinton to wandering aimlessly in the Westchester woods; it left her fellow travelers flailing like fish on a dock.
Our left-leaning friends spent the space between Trump’s victory and inauguration with enough shrieking to fill a year’s worth of Women’s March protest signs and have followed it up with enough fake news to fill a year’s worth of Buzzfeed retractions. The days since Trump dropped Hillary with the most out-of-left-field haymaker since Buster Douglas turned out Mike Tyson’s lights have been an uninterrupted tantrum worthy of one of those Real Housewives.
The Democrats’ Senate heroes have replaced Harry Reid with Chuck Schumer. Sure, Reid is the kind of spooky guy that’s usually slow-rolling a windowless van past an elementary school but watching Schumer blubber his way through an awkwardly-staged “spontaneous protest” of Trump’s temporary pause in unfettered immigration to the United States had to make the Democrats wistful for Reid’s serial killer-esque glare. Senator Al Franken took advantage of the Senate Judiciary Committee’s hearing on Attorney General nominee Jeff Sessions to pitch a fit over how Senator Ted Cruz hurt his feelings. It took Senator John Cornyn to bring the class back to attention including reminding Franken that they committee was supposed to be examining Sessions, not working out personal butt-hurt, and by the way, Cruz wasn’t even in the room. Add to that their inexplicable decision to “boycott” committee votes. As if the electorate needed a reminder of why they sent these guys to their rooms without supper, the Senate Democrats are very publicly taking their balls and going home.
On the House side, Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi has left Schumer looking like the smartest kid on the short bus. Pelosi expressed her opposition to Supreme Court nominee Judge Gorsuch by telling a CNN audience about Judge Gorsuch’s “hostility toward children,” a supposed character flaw which “saddens her as a mom and grandmother.” Pelosi elaborated “Hill (sic) fellow, well met lovely family, I’m sure, but as far as your family is concerned, and if you breathe air, drink water, eat food, take medicine, or in any other way interact with the courts — this is a very bad decision.” Look honey, we get it, you’re anti-anything Trump does. But it’s hard to decipher the message when it doesn’t involve complete sentences.
And the media have done nothing but pour gasoline on the fire. Their reporting on the president’s immigration order started at “hysterical” and rocketed into “completely unhinged.” After tripping over their tongues while dodging the fact that Trump essentially cribbed the order from Obama’s notes, they spray-painted the headlines with stories about tragic refugees facing soul-crushing familial dramas as a direct result of the order. The most sensational of the tales — a Detroit Muslim who was prevented from seeing his dying mother by Trump’s racist Stormtroopers — fell apart faster than an unsourced rumor on Buzzfeed’s splash page.
If the shepherds have lost their way, then the sheep have devolved into absolute bedlam. Among the ideas vomited up by the party faithful: “Calexit,” a Golden State secession from America. While such a move would deprive the United States of monotonous sitcoms and Meryl Streep lectures, it would deprive the Democrats of 55 Electoral College votes and millions of voters. It would also deprive them of their own Minority Leader, but I’m not certain they count that as a loss. In any case, I propose the fledgling state be named “Californistan.” I’m using it regardless.
If one of the two major political parties in this country manages to descend into total irrelevance, what would take its place? I’m asking because at the washing machine-level pace the left is spinning out of control, there might be an opening soon in Washington for more than just a Supreme Court Justice.
— Ben Crystal