Shortly I will be headed to the Richmond University Medical Center to pursue intensive treatment for my mental illness. My day-to-day existence has become entirely unmanageable, and I fear for my health and safety. I do not have much of a plan at this point other than to get checked in. When I am back out I will
try to decide if this project can continue. If not I will immediately suspend the Patreon, but feel free to stop your payments yourselves too. It is clear that I can never return to my old ways of engaging online, and I must leave semipublic life permanently, among many other changes. All I want is to build a quiet and simple existence where I can live and work privately without hurting myself or others. At present I have a hard time contemplating the future. I just know that my life is fundamentally broken and drastic measures are necessary to fix it.
My immediate priority is to get healthy, and to try and save my job and the health insurance that is necessary for my immediate survival. I need to try preserve whatever I have left.
I would give everything I own to be anyone other than who I am. Goodbye and thank you for everything.
That is terribly, terribly sad. If you pray, please pray for Freddie. It is awful to lose his public voice. But if we have to lose that to keep from losing Freddie himself, then let us be grateful that Freddie has made this decision.