posted at 9:21 am on November 9, 2016 by Jazz Shaw
Do you suppose that Justin Trudeau will come out today with a speech detailing his plans to build a great wall on Canada’s southern border? He might, but for more than one reason. True, the very liberal PM probably dreaded the idea of having to deal with Donald Trump, but he might also want to stem the tide of hapless, sobbing celebrities who will presumably be flooding toward his immigration offices now that The Donald will be President Donald. Did any of you catch this hot list from the Hill reminding us of all of the people who said they would leave if Hillary lost?
Dozens of celebrities vowed to leave the country if Donald Trump won the White House, saying they’d flee to everywhere from Canada to Jupiter.
The threat is a common one after any election outcome: Canada’s immigration website crashed from heavy traffic as it looked increasingly likely that Trump would win.
But after the real estate mogul clinched the presidency in a stunning victory early Wednesday morning, some of those stars will face questions about making good on their promise.
Let’s see who needs to hit the fashionable luggage store.
Bryan Cranston gave us a “definitely.” Fortunately for him all of that experience in making top quality meth should serve him well in Vancouver. I hear their drug market is really sub-standard.
Trudeau won’t have to worry about making space for Samuel L. Jackson. He declared that he’s going to South Africa. Best of luck, Sam. You can still make movies there and I’ve enjoyed several of yours. Let us know if there are any snakes on your plane.
Cher said she’s “moving to Jupiter.” This could actually be a win-win because I read recently that NASA’s Cassini probe was running out of fuel and would have to be crashed into the gas giant. Perhaps Cher could bring along a couple of jerrycans of unleaded and extend the mission a bit further.
Amy Schumer and Chelsea Handler are both moving, though Schumer is going to Spain. Handler claims to have already bought a home somewhere else but she’s not saying where. Have fun, ladies, but be careful. The real estate market can be a real bear.
But the two biggest names have been saved for last. Miley Cyrus swore she would move, emphasizing the fact that, “I don’t say things I don’t mean.” And of course, Lena Dunham was the most clear of all.
Lena Dunham told Andy Cohen at the Matrix Awards that “I know a lot of people have been threatening to do this, but I really will. I know a lovely place in Vancouver.” The star and creator of HBO’s “Girls” has been a vocal advocate for Hillary Clinton.
So long Lena. But don’t worry. I think HBO films a lot of their shows in Vancouver anyway.