Apocalypse not

I’m not sure if you’ve been paying attention, but there’s a guy running for president whose election would guarantee the end of the world.  And when I say “end of the world,” I mean “real wrath of God type stuff,” complete with the flaming weather and inter-species cohabitation.  If our intellectual betters among the political elite are right, a Donald Trump victory in the upcoming presidential election ranks right up there with the opening of the Seven Seals.

At least, that’s what Democrat Party nominee Hillary Clinton says.  In an interview with New York Times pundit Mark Leibovich, Hillary warned against the dangers of a Trump ascension. “I’m the last thing standing between you and the apocalypse.”  Lest you think an infirm old lady — who’s confused by things like BlackBerrys, room service and the letter “c” — might be a few dogs short of a kennel, she brought backup.  Hillary’s spokehole John Podesta claimed “there is a dread that people have about what it would actually mean if he were to actually be elected.”  Considering Hillary’s *ahem* contentious relationship with the truth and Podesta’s role in a string of Democrat politicians and far-left hate groups, you might want to hold off on booking passage with Mad Max down Fury Road.

Hillary and her minions would like you to believe she’s the Horatio on the Final Bridge.  She also happens to be the gatekeeper who worked claw-in-paw with President Barack Obama as he:

• Transformed our relationship with Russia from “reset” to “why are all the Russians making reservations on the next flight to the Motherland?”
• Arranged for the sale of 20 percent of uranium in the United States to those same Russians in return for donations to a “charity” which bears a striking resemblance to a money laundering racket.
• Turned ISIS, a festering boil of Islamic terrorism, into a Muslim army which has already launched multiple attacks on U.S. soil.
• Stood aside as a psychotic oompa-loompa turned North Korea into a legitimate nuclear power.
• Not only let the world’s foremost sponsor of terrorism, Iran, take the express lane to nuketown, they paid billions to help smooth the road.
• Engineered the Benghazi attack through sheer ineptitude.
• Responded to the Benghazi attack with stunning arrogance.
• Made denying the existence of Islamic terrorism an official government policy; even labeling those who call for vetting of likely jihadists as “racist.”
• Deliberately opened the floodgates to every Tomas, Ricardo and Hakeem who dreams of importing the Sinaloa, MS-13 and/or ISIS lifestyle to the American heartland.
• Declared all of the aforementioned threats subordinate to so-called “climate change,” itself a pop science theory with less validity than Piltdown Man and Swiss spaghetti trees.

And these are the people who want you to believe Donald Trump is really one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  Given that they’ve taken the entire planet on an eight year road trip to Perdition’s front door, it’s hard to figure how they’re blaming Trump for the direction.  The guy was a game show host when Hillary and Obama took the wheel.

To be fair, Trump hasn’t exactly demonstrated a solid working knowledge of foreign policy.  But Hillary and her cronies have spent the last eight years proving they lack a solid working knowledge of anything that doesn’t involve lining their own pockets.  Perhaps a Trump victory will precipitate the Apocalypse.  But, to borrow a phrase from the serial predator who leers at babes while Hillary’s working on excuses for whatever scandal she’s blundered into, “it depends on what your meaning of ‘apocalypse’ is.”

— Ben Crystal